"I think it’s important for people to understand what a Twin Flame runner goes through. They need to know how blinded by fear they are. They need to know that all a runner has ever known is fear; that’s why I opted for fear instead of love. I am a self-confessed runner who bolted from a connection. I only came to this realisation six months after I had ran away. I need you to understand the extreme anguish that that a runner twin flame is in, all caused by the power of the intense energy connection.
I felt both our pain, and it was a virtual nightmare. The awful feeling of dread that I woke up with every day can only be expressed as an unholy sensation of loss and anxiety. Your heart pounds like a jackhammer and you feel like you are being chased. Those were what my waking moments were when I was running from my twin flame.
Apart from his pain, I also sensed an intense attraction to him. With every fibre of my being, I yearned to be with this man, my eternal twin flame. Yet something was also telling me that I was not prepared for this, and that I needed to examine and fix myself and my issue first.
I knew that even if he still professed his undying love for me, it wouldn’t make things better. I had to work out the kinks in myself before we could even think of having a happy ever after. So I ran, and by doing so retreated into myself to mend my inner issues.
The emotional coma that came to define my life was debilitating. I no longer hung out with my friends. I just went to work and came back straight home. The crippling mess entailed handling the loss of my Twin flame, the intense attraction to him, our agony, and my spiritual awakening.
I felt that the time was nigh to sort out my issues. The only way to do this was to run. I didn’t want my Twin Flame to endure dealing with my inherent flaws, so I had to disappear and fix myself. I quit Facebook, and simply melted away, running from my Beloved.
There were daily signs that proved that our connection was true, but I kept denying and running from the Universe. "Please just let me be! Don’t make this difficult, I’m trying to forget about him!" These crazy emotions even made me believe that he was the one who had run out on me. That’s how unbelievable these feelings can get. The powerful energy drives you to the brink of insanity.
I had an epiphany sometime around April/May 2012. It dawned on me that I was the one who had run, and was still running. Everything became illuminated and I reflected on the fight we had and what actually happened that day. I realized that the intensity of the connection was too powerful for me to deal with anymore, so I told him "If you don’t want me around, I’m leaving."
I thought he wanted to leave me, so I was giving him a way out of the relationship. On the other hand, he thought I wanted out of the relationship. We simply reflected on another’s fears. I'm convinced this broke his heart. I caused pain for both of us, in immeasurable ways. I had thought I was spiritually awakened, but I couldn't perceive the truth. I was the one who had ruined it and I was the runner twin flame.
It is fear that drives runners away; they are simply scared to death. The deep love they have for their Twin Flame is frightening, plus they fear it could be one-sided. So they take off from the relationship like a bat out of hell. But what is the origin of this fear? It originates from subconscious issues that have weighed down this person during this and previous lifetimes.
This is what "karma" means. Karma is the memory of the soul. We learn many lessons in our past lives, which manifest as the loss of loved ones, abandonment issues, betrayal by our love partners, or even our death. Since the soul never forgets, the wounds of all these things stir within us, until we decide to heal the karma and the issues once and for all. This is exactly what Twin Flame connections do.
This process is not as simple as it sounds. It’s a very painful one. It feels like both a blessing and a curse sometimes. Using great pain to cause change and transformation, the universe heals us. As we undergo these challenges, we must learn to accept this spiritual journey. It is only after you have endured the darkness that you will see the sun.
For the runner, meeting their Twin Flame is akin to holding a mirror in front of their eyes. All they see is their own flaws. Issues of self-loathing, rejection and co-dependency rise to the surface. Out of the blue, this person sees their terrifying flaws and other issues they’ve been running from, and they run, run, run. They may not even know why, all they know is that they need to get out and leave their Twin Flame behind.
Many of you may hold your Runners responsible for leaving the relationship, starting new ones, and rejecting a Divine and blessed union. What you need to become conscious of is that this is a section of their journey to find themselves. Until they complete it, the two of you cannot be together.
Different people have different levels of spiritual enlightenment. Therefore, it takes some longer to discover their way back to you. Others may use drugs, alcohol or sex to divert their attention from their issues, but believe me, they don't have an alternative. You can run, but you can’t fight the universe.
Though I loved him more than I did myself, I still ran from my Twin Soul because one of my problems was that I didn’t know how to love myself. There must be true self-love before you can give True Love to another person. The relationship will never work. There is no escaping it either: When the energies don’t balance out, you separate, until the universe forces you to balance the energies. Once each of you has resolved their issues separately, then through inner love and happiness, a reconnection will happen.
As this occurs, you have to come to terms with the fact that their journey is personal, so you shouldn’t feel abandoned or spiteful. They aren’t gone forever. Everything is operating on a deep spiritual level. They haven’t left because they don’t love you; they’ve left so that they can deal with their issues and come back prepared to handle the intense love and emotions you both share.
They have to accept what they see when they look at their "mirror" i.e. you. A number of twin flames aren’t prepared to do that. Some haven’t discovered their inner love for themselves, while others feel unprepared to be with you. It’s fine. Give them time to find themselves, even if it includes having other relationships, tricky as that may be.
Using force to get a twin flame to return won’t work. All you can do is seek peace, balance and self-love. Loving yourself is vital if you want to get through the Divine connection. No love means more pain, and pain will prevent a reconnection. Your love for one another and your awakened souls are the only things that will reunite you."
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